Non-egocentric motivation

2026-07-13

I used to do things for validation from others. I want to be considered as the most “valuable” person, the prettiest, the smartest, the richest, the most popular one. Even though that’s not what I really want, I just don’t wanna be looked down on, so I tried my best to show a glamorized image, meanwhile avoid social interactions with others as much as possible, in that sense, I was flawless.

For a period of time it seems to work, as time goes by I start to realize it’s not the type of life that I want. I’ve suppressed my personality for so long just to feed my ego, and this is harmful because I can’t focus on what I really want out of life, and the person I truly want to become.

So, I took a different approach

When I do things, instead of thinking about what others would think of me, I think of me as a part of something big. Like, I’m doing this for the community, for the underrepresented international students, for making this world a better place.

Letting go of my ego gave me more freedom than ever

It gave me the courage to follow my heart, since I don’t care about others’ opinions anymore. Later I realized it can also be perceived as “internal validation”. When I approve the things I do, I don’t need to walk around begging for validation from anyone else.

I post articles about the shift in my perspective on Xiaohongshu, surprised to find that being myself motivates others. I’m contributing to the society already. Simply existing has power, I don’t need to do anything to prove my value.

I’m very grateful for what I have now. And I’m glad I have the courage to follow my heart.

Live the life you wanna live, for yourself, and for the greater good.